Dwarf Tales

Caramelised Onion chutney can be pretty expensive in some shops and it always seems a bit of a mystery why. This simple recipe makes a delicious basic chutney that can be added to in terms of flavours as your own tastes require.

I have added a few spices and a little red chilli pepper finely chopped to give little kick. This chutney goes really well with a mature cheddar. It keeps well, I would suggest a year and it tastes great. What more could you ask for (other than a good wedge of cheese)?

Mango Chutney The true colour of this chutney is a delight in its own right and the taste is wonderful. Forget all those bland brown chutneys that you can buy in the shops. Put some colour on your plate!

I used 4 ripe mangoes bought from Lidls at 59p each so this recipe was in fact quite cheap. However, even if it does work out more than the shop bought, I think that it is worth it.

Please note that the colour of this chutney is entirely down to the mangoes. There is no turmeric or saffron or any other yellow colouring used.

Lime Pickle This is not your traditional 'leave them in the sun in salt to rot for a few weeks'. This is a quicker version that leaves the limes only a few days and then relies upon cooking to make up the time. Personally I prefer this one especially as I have replaced mustard oil with rape. Purists might disagree but then I'm not a purist by any standards.

It goes particularly well with a simple dahl and rice but of course for any dwarf a meat based curry would be better!

If you don't want to go to the expense of limes, then try the courgette pickle below.

Preserved Lemons Preserved lemons ( i.e. lemons preserved in salt and their own juices) are a classic of the Xandrian world where the fruit almost throws itself at you each year in such abundance that it is difficult to know what to do with them.

However, the resourceful poor for whom their is no such thing as a glut, have offered up one solution to keep these wonderful sunshine fruits over the cooler winter months as well as to brighten up their otherwise dark kitchens with little pieces of preserved sunshine.

Courgette pickle is not exactly the kind of fare that one might expect of a dwarf. It's more of your elfy foods, what with the things been that unnatural colour of green. However, it can put up a good fight against your average lime pickle (definitely dwarfish!) as an accompaniment to any curry. The amount of bite ( in terms of salt and chilli) is of course down to the individual dwarf. Of course it puts to good use the inevitable surfeit of protuberances that erupt and overgrow secretively in the undergrowth of the vegetable garden at certain times of the year.

Courgette chutney sounds more like something that humans eat, it being a bit like a jam really. However, it can put up a good fight against your average mango chutney (definitely dwarfish!) as an accompaniment to any curry. It's not abut bite as their is no chilli in it but that's not to say that it couldn't be added.. Of course it puts to good use the inevitable surfeit of protuberances that erupt and overgrow secretively in the undergrowth of the vegetable garden at certain times of the year.